Here recently, I have just been frustrated. Frustrated with people, with life, and even, frustrated with God. Some days I feel as if there has been a disconnection between God and I. “Um, hey Jesus it’s me, D’Anna. Are you up there?” I feel as if I am talking to the winds. My daily thoughts consist of, “Jesus if you are there, then how come I never hear from you? How come I never see you? Jesus, I need a miracle to happen, and I feel as if you are inexistent.” I don’t know about you, but sometimes, these are my daily thoughts. “Jesus, why did you allow that to happen?” Whatever we wanted the outcome to be, it wasn’t what actually ended up happening. Frustration sets in. Doubt creeps in. Then we begin to question God’s plan, his power, and even like me, His existence. If Jesus was such a “Good, Good Father,” then why did that one thing that I have been praying about for months turn out the complete opposite than I intended? I began to enter a season of denial. I didn’t read my Bible like I should, I didn’t have any quiet time, I wasn’t making it to church every Sunday morning. I told Jesus, if you are there than I need to see a miracle. I feel like all I have seen is let down after let down, and I need to know that you are still near.
I distinctly remember a few nights ago, where I was once again just frustrated. I had just got home from a long, exhausting day at work. I was determined to just go to bed, but Jesus had a different idea in mind. I wrestled falling asleep for over an hour. I rolled over and looked at my Bible that was sitting on my nightstand, where it had sat unopened for months. I turned on my lamp, and opened to the bookmarked page in my Bible, Matthew 16. I began reading, when Jesus spoke. I came across verses 7-10. Let’s read them together..
“And they began discussing it among themselves, saying, ‘We brought no bread.’ But Jesus, aware of this, said, ‘O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread?’ Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many baskets you gathered?’
Oh, as my heart sank to my feet and tears came streaming down my face, I thought to myself, “D’Anna, don’t miss the miracles. Remember the miracles. God has performed countless miracles in the past, and He STILL performs miracles to this day.” Let me explain.
Jesus gets blunt with his disciples and pretty much says, “You all have so little faith! Do you not REMEMBER the feeding of the five-thousand or of the four-thousand? Do you not remember that I performed those? You all were there!” I thought to myself, gosh, this is me. I am so focused on the here and now, that I don’t even think to consider all that God has done in the past. All I knew was that God wasn’t speaking in my current moments, so I began to quit on Jesus. Sometimes we have to remember the miracles that Jesus has performed for over 2000 years, and know that He is still performing those miracles to this day.Our sweet Jesus has performed countless miracles since the beginning of time. It is crucial that we focus on this. You must remember the miracles. Remember the feeding of the five-thousand, the raising of the dead, the healings, oh and that one, where HE defeated death. I encourage you to look back on your own life, and look at the miracles that you have seen with your own eyes. Just because everything isn’t going as you would like now, you have to realize that God is still moving. He is still reigning on the throne. I promise He has not forgotten about you, and He is working for you right now. Even when He may seem silent, He is never absent.
Something that I also found in this Scripture is in verse 8 when He states, “Why are you discussing this among yourselves the fact that you have no bread?” He is asking His disciples, “Why are you trying to do this on your own? You are talking amongst yourselves.” Can I tell you something? Life isn’t going to get any easier by eliminating Jesus. Don’t distance yourself from the truth. Keep praying, keep reading, keep pursuing. Seasons of confusion, hurt, or struggle help us get rid of this ridiculous idea that we don’t need God. Don’t disconnect yourself from the One who pursues you the most. He wants the absolute best for his children, and we are most satisfied when we get rid of ourselves and let HIM lead. Trust in Him alone. He has no rival, he has no equal. Oh, what a beautiful Name.
We don’t need greater strategies or plans, what we need is Him. We need the almighty God to be so presence upon us, with us, in us, through us, and all around us. I want you to do something. I want you to take everything that you can think that you are facing that as a challenge or a possibility, look at it solid, and begin to declare that our God is a God of miracles.
Rest in this beautiful truth. Heaven is holding conversations about you right now. Angels have been assigned to you. The Father is at work on YOUR behalf. Rest on that my sweet friends.
Please don’t give up, don’t ever give up. Don’t say, “It was well” or “It will be well”, but that “IT IS WELL”
Much love, my sweet friend.